How long will it take?

When we become aware of destructive patterns or trauma, or realise how much we've been missing out on life, it makes complete sense that we want to change overnight. But the patterns that get us in trouble now were formed and reinforced over years and even decades, and therefore take a while to unlearn and be replaced by new ones. That’s why trauma work or any inner work can’t be rushed. As patterns become conscious, your mind will “get” things quickly and want to move on. But insights and willpower can only take us so far–that’s why we often end up with very accurate maps of our traumas but still find ourselves stuck in old behaviours. Real change comes from resetting the nervous system and unraveling traumatic patterns bit by bit. And then learning to tolerate the unknown for a while as you make room for healthier patterns to emerge. So it takes a while. But let’s be practical. If you need to cope or just make it through a difficult situation without digging deeper, a shorter course of sessions might just be enough. And if you want to discover what brought you to this difficult spot and learn how to not find yourself in it again, that will take longer. The depth and length of our work is completely up to you. I only ask for an initial commitment of six sessions to get a good sense of whether we work well together well or not.

How often should we work?

This depends on you, what you want to work on, and your own resources. Weekly sessions are a great way to maintain momentum and do deeper work like trauma healing. Some of us find it reassuring to know that we have this space weekly to settle, check in with ourselves, and be with difficult things that come up. It’s a commitment to ourselves that we’re finally showing up. Sometimes, especially if we’ve never had the experience of someone being fully present and compassionate towards us, weekly sessions can feel like too much and we’ll want to run away because we’re too afraid of depending on someone else like this. We’ll make excuses that we’re too busy, that it’s not the right time, that we’re actually fine. This is normal, and it’s something we can work through. But sometimes weekly sessions are not the right way. The most important thing about inner work is that you honour yourself: so that means doing what’s right for you, doing the hard thing, but also being mindful of financial, emotional, and other resources. All I’m asking for is a clear, honest commitment, and that’s up to you.

Will I feel worse?

One of the things we all have to unlearn at some point in life is that happiness (feeling good) is fleeting and our very attempts to maintain it are what makes us miserable. The pursuit of happiness is the source of our suffering. So what then? A different and more sustainable flavour of happiness is openness, or acceptance. When we’re open to all the moments of our lives as they are, without grasping them or pushing them away, we feel free and powerful. We feel in control of ourselves and our lives–isn’t that what we’re actually after? So, to answer the question, yes, there may be sessions where it will appear like things are getting worse. As you begin to face the truth of your life it’s likely that a lot of grief, pain, loneliness, and fear will surface–but it’s important to realise all these feelings were always there, gnawing at your ankles and begging for attention. You’re feeling bad because you’re finally feeling. One of the aims of inner work is widening our tolerance for the entire spectrum of human experience. The more you feel the hard stuff, the more you’ll be able to open to the good too. That’s how it works. And then you realise that your feelings or thoughts are nothing to be afraid of since they tend to just come and go like clouds in the sky. And then something pretty magic happens: you realise that who you really are was never the clouds, but the unchanging, crisp sky behind them. And then you’ll feel the best you ever had.

Will this affect other parts of my life?

One of the goals of inner work is developing the ability to see ourselves and others more clearly. Once we begin to let go of some of the childhood, cultural, or societal conditioning that used to form our personality, we begin to see the world differently–and so the world itself changes. Alchemists were really onto something when they discovered that the inner world and outer world are actually one. As above, so below, as within, so without. By working on transmuting lead to gold in the outer world, they were following an inner process too, refining the self into its purest, most enlightened state. And if that sounds too middle-ages-pasé, then modern neuroscience can reassure us that indeed, we don’t experience reality as it is, we experience it as we are because our brains are constantly constructing it based on previous experiences, the beliefs we hold, how safe our nervous systems feel, and all sorts of other variables. So it only makes sense that as you begin to let go of destructive or simply outdated patterns in yourself, you and your world will change. You might find certain relationships less satisfying, you might crave a different career or new hobbies. You might also find the right people for you and more enjoyable ways of living! And you might be just what someone else needed to start their own journey of self-discovery. Rest assured, it won’t happen overnight and you’ll have plenty of time to adjust to it.

Do you offer concessions?

It’s important to me that this work is accessible. We all deserve love and support, regardless of our situation, and getting the help we need shouldn't create extra anxiety and financial strain. At the same time, I’m aware that our society is making it harder for us to act on what’s truly valuable to us and we often sacrifice our mental health or proper nutrition to have the flashy things that advertising is telling us will make us happy. I know it, because I wrote those ads for ten years. And I too love a discount. The prices I charge are a reflection of my own investment in my training and my personal process–the more I do this, the better and more effective my work becomes. They also allow me to look after myself well enough to be fully present for you with an open heart and quieter personal needs, which is what often can get us therapists in trouble. And finally, they allow me to offer a lower fee for those who genuinely can’t afford this work at the moment. If that’s you and you can’t pay the full fee right now, please reach out and we’ll discuss one that works for you.

Is this therapy?

While I am in my third year of training in both integrative transpersonal psychotherapy and sensorimotor psychotherapy, I cannot yet offer psychotherapy services. However, inner work is inherently therapeutic. My approach is aimed at bringing kind awareness to those areas in our lives where we find ourselves stuck or helpless, and finding the inner resources to integrate and alchemise them–to transform so that you become who you’re meant to be. I use a blend of methods that involve coaching, developmental psychology, Jungian analysis, attachment theory, trauma treatment, mindfulness meditation, spiritual practice, and divination through tarot. I also adhere to the psychotherapeutic ethics of care and refer about half of my initial consultations to qualified and more experienced therapists.

What issues can you help with?

My training in both transpersonal and sensorimotor psychotherapy enables me to support you through a variety of issues through a holistic, integrative approach that addresses the darker and the lighter aspects of life equally. Here are some of the issues I can help with:

• reconnecting with your true self and finding your purpose;
• becoming more embodied and learning self-regulation;
• releasing and transforming trauma in the body;
• setting healthy boundaries;
• understanding your attachment style and learning new ways to relate;
• understanding the meaning of your dreams and starting a dialogue with your unconscious;
• healing the inner child, becoming aware of its needs, and reparenting;
• understanding and moving through depression;
• bringing mindfulness and compassion to anxiety;
• working with perfectionism;
• tapping into your innate wisdom through creative imagination;
• breaking old patterns and creating better habits.